A recent Harvard Business Review article entitled, “What CEOs Are Afraid Of” outlined the top fears most CEOs and executives feel at work.
The top three fears are:
- Being seen as incompetent (the “imposter syndrome”)
- Underachieving
- Appearing too vulnerable
About 60% of leaders interviewed said these fears also impacted behaviors on their executive team. Researchers add that there is immense business – not to mention professional – risk associated with fear-driven behaviors.
The great news is that fear can be conquered.
In my own career, I’ve suffered from several variants of the above fears; in response, I’ve learned that it’s possible to make a leadership practice of actively handling fear.
Conquering fear of falling failing
When I was in growing up, I was afraid of heights and falling. Anytime I was in a tall building, I’d stay away from the balcony, and if I got near a balcony or window, I’d tend to think of falling and quickly move as far away from the “edge” as I could. While this wasn’t full-blown acrophobia, by the time I reached college, I wanted to overcome it, and had a means to do so in the form of a different role with my college internship employer; I signed up to be an ironworker. Yes, that’s right, I signed up to walk on narrow structural steel beams, joists, etc on buildings under construction. Nothing on either side to hold on to, and a fairly long drop to the ground if I fell.
Suffice to say, I survived (phew!), and what was more surprising, the victories I made every day that I tackled my fear, in turn, set the stage for larger victories. Not only did I conquer my immediate fear of falling; I became more confident in my ability to overcome other adversity, too.
What I did psychologists call “exposure” with “flooding” – basically throwing yourself into the deep end of the fear pool to prove its powerlessness over you. It worked for that situation, but it’s not the only way to overcome fear. Another, slightly more forgiving approach is called systematic desensitization, which is more like steadily wading into the deep water of your fear.
There are three steps that are, in my experience, common to both in handling fear:
- Acknowledging the fear
- Finding a way to challenge it
- Wash-Rinse-Repeat
Step 1: Acknowledging the Fear
Much of what’s said about imposter syndrome in particular focuses on recognizing the problem. But this requires going beyond that first glimpse into the issue to a real self-awareness of what, exactly, you’re afraid of. Is it that you have nothing important to say? That you’re in “over your head?” That you’re not smart enough? That if you say what you’re thinking, no one will like you?
Whatever’s presenting as your fear, the first step in handling it is to take a deep breath, look yourself in the mirror, acknowledge it, and realize that, while it feels real to you, it’s just fear. And the only way you’ll ever be rid of it is to stare it down, forever.
Step 2: Finding a Way to Challenge it
The good news is, staring down fear is possible. Those first days “on the iron” as an ironworker were terrifying, but I persevered in part because I was more afraid of disgracing myself in front of the other workers, and because each day I successfully navigated the iron I became more confident. I also sang to myself when I was scared.
This followed a process that counsellors recommend for overcoming fear known as counter-conditioning: training yourself to physically relax, even in the face of the fear, as a response to each feared stimulus beginning first with the least anxiety-provoking stimulus and moving then to the next least anxiety-provoking stimulus until all of the fears have been dealt with successfully.
For example, if your fear is that you have nothing of value to say, finding small ways of expressing yourself publicly can be one practice that can help you attack that fear. In my experience, this will lead to more, larger opportunities to express yourself. And this progress will continue, so long as you stay with it and are sure to practice and develop a relaxation response when you feel panicky, all the while pressing on. Steven Covey described this beautifully in Principle-Centered Leadership as having private victories that lead to public victories.
Step 3: Wash-Rinse-Repeat
Keep challenging yourself to bigger tasks, and you will master your fear. Engage professional help in the form of a therapist or leadership coach who specializes in handling anxiety if needed. But press on. It’s an amazing feeling when you tackle a long-cherished fear, and come out the victor.
The practice we’ve all gone through in our various fields of endeavor, hobbies, sports, etc, makes us better at our chosen professions. Similarly, becoming adept at handling our fears takes practice, repetition, and a drive to continually raise the bar. Those small internal victories set up larger public victories.